Musings of a Billionaire

Or how to work easily around Financial Fair Play

 

I am a billionaire.

I want to use my insane amount of money to buy and build the team of my dreams.

I have a lot of money because I have a lot of successful companies.

But wait – suddenly, I have these bureaucrats named UEFA tell me I can’t spend more than what the team earns. They call it Financial Fair Play. That’s ridiculous.

I bought the team for cheap and I plan on building a stadium, which doesn’t count as expenses according to the Financial Fair Play rules. The thing is, the stadium will only be full if I have a successful team.

I also plan on building an academy, but it will surely take more than a few years until it creates enough players that will make it in my team.

What shall I do?

Well… My companies can sponsor my club, for starters. Oh, wait – I can’t do that?

Right, so… My billionaire friends have companies – they will sponsor my club, and I will pay them back through my many business ventures. No problem then. Can UEFA do anything about that? No.

Ok… now, I need more money for the club to sign top players.

I know! My companies can sign sponsorship deals with players that my club can’t afford. Can I do that? Yup, UEFA can’t do anything about personal endorsements.

I need to cover more contracts. What else can I do? Ha! No problem. I have gold, houses and yachts. I can just give them as presents to my friends – who happen to be footballers that work for me. Can the bureaucrats say anything about that? I am merely a generous man, and these presents are for my friends. There can’t be any rules against that, right?

I just wonder why my billionaire friends in the U.S can’t do what I do.

Oh, you say they have a salary cap? Well, that’s a good idea. Why not just copy that instead of dealing with this Fair Play bullshit thing?

I will never understand bureaucrats. So stupid.

Now, if you’ll excuse me – I need to build a team that will win the Champions League.

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